So It Begins

Hello, again. And welcome to episode one of the "Probably Ill-Advised Pre-Thanksgiving DIY Kitchen Shakedown." Yes, it's November. And No, we haven't started yet. All in good fun.

Item number one on the agenda: countertop.  You may remember from past postings that half of our kitchen is charming (and lovingly re-finished) hand-crafted "butcher block." The other half is scary wood-trimmed laminate.

After over a year of scrubbing away the stains (and I mean STAINS.  This counter has been known to soak the printing off of plastic bags. Seriously. For weeks it advertised "AT&T Wireless." There was also the Maraschino Cherry Juice Incident of '09.)... we're finally doing something about it.

I should have documented the whole tortuous process, but here's the summary:

US: Quartz is cool, give us some samples.
[a few months pass]
US: Right, we forgot. Quartz is still cool. Let's get more samples.
ME: I like the brown. No, the gray. No, the gray-brown. The brown.
LOWE'S: Your kitchen is too small.
HOME DEPOT: So, the brown?
[crickets]
ME: AAAIGH! NO BROWN!
THE MR.: Seriously?
[there is much shuffling of samples.]
US: We meant granite.
HOME DEPOT: Your kitchen is too small.
LOCAL PLACE: Hello. We have nice slabs.
US: Our kitchen is too small.
LOCAL PLACE: We love you anyway. Also, we cost less.

We went skipping around the slab yard, and despite being momentarily dazzled by some sort of Chilean silver-impregnated something-or-rather that we would have had to sing to sleep every night, we made a decision.

Say hello to Slab.

So, yes, it's brownish, but it has a lot of black in it and a lot of depth.  The picture is kind of bad. Trust us--it's a lot more exciting than the flattish brown Quartz we were initially after. (I started thinking of it as 'mouse putty,' and, well, that's not what you want to prepare your meals on.) 

They came to measure for it a couple of days ago, and it'll be installed next week sometime. (Another plus to Local Place:  both HD and Lowe's claimed it would take "at least" four to six weeks.) In the meantime, I'll be taking 'before' pictures...

Oops (I guess?)

So we had some excitement yesterday afternoon. The Mr. was out in the backyard eating weeds (or weed-eating, to make him sound less like a goat), and I was making potato salad in the kitchen. Cue sudden and loud WHAP noise, which caused me to look toward the back yard, the Mr. to put down the weed-eater and stare at the house, and the Dog to leave the vicinity. We watched, mouths agape, as large spidery cracks spread in spokes across one of the plate-glass doors in the family room. We both went through a few stages of "Whoa, what?," followed by "Aaaigh! Keep the dog out!", to "Hey, that's kind of cool-looking" once we figured out it was the outside pane of two and that it wouldn't be exploding into shards inside the house. What actually did it, though, is still kind of a mystery. The Mr. thinks the weed-eater may have kicked something up, which is a definite possibility, but he was pretty far away; we've also had a couple of birds smack into these windows, so I guess there's that, though you'd think if a bird hit the window that hard he'd be lying there on the patio seeing stars. Some pictures:

I took those yesterday evening, a couple of hours after it happened. It's actually still cracking this morning--every couple of minutes I hear another little "pop." The Mr. criss-crossed the outer side with packing tape in the hopes of keeping it in bigger pieces, should it fall out of the frame. We read somewhere online that some kinds of safety glass can withstand storm winds without falling out of their frames if they're cracked like this--here's hoping that's the kind we have. Anyway. The glass guys are coming today to see what it is they'll need to do. As long as it doesn't fall out, it's kind of neat-looking--we had some friends by yesterday who hadn't seen the house and actually thought it was crackled on purpose. We were like, "of course it is."

Less than $10: An Ode to Craigslist

Speaking of "less than $10," my sister-in-law informs me that somebody on HGTV recently spray-painted a chandelier like we did. Maybe we should demand royalties. But back to Craigslist: for eight bucks apiece, we picked up these two chairs from (as it turned out) someone who lives about three miles down the road from us. They're a neat shape, and the finish looks great with our dining table. They needed some cleaning up, and besides a minor flaw that we discovered when we got them home (their arms are about a quarter of an inch too high to fit under the table), I think they're going to work. I took off the cushions (one was red, one was green. I didn't ask.):

...and recovered them with upholstery fabric.

I may recover them again at some point. This fabric, despite how the picture looks, is not at all pink, but different shades of gold; some blocks are warmer, and some have a greenish tint I thought would blend nicely with the green chairs and the gold-ish walls. Ultimately, the checkerboard bit is a lot less subtle in our house than it was in the store and I still may keep my eye out for other options. At any rate, the Christmas cushions and stains and such are gone and I'm happy with that for now. We still have to figure out how best to fix the arm-height problem. So far our plan is to saw a half-inch off the bottom of all the legs. Either that or screw something into the feet of the table that raises it up enough. Suggestions?

The Miracle Gallon, part.. what, eight?

Yeah, this won't need much explanation. I've already waxed romantic over the Miracle Gallon. Here is yet another of its converts (hitherto known as "the dumpster table," "three-legs," "when are we going to get rid of that"). We saved it from the dump--holy cow, like, nearly two years ago--with plans to do something to it, and didn't, until now. (Read: definitely a case for the MG.) The Mr. lovingly reattached its broken leg and removed the duct tape that had previously been holding it there. (Yes, folks, we're moving up in the world.) It used to have a very dinged-up reddish (I'll call it "corporate office cherry") finish. I forgot to take a before picture, but I think most of you will probably remember it from the corner of our old living room. I got fancy with it, this time, and used some other leftover paint for an inset on the top. In process:

And, the finished product:

It's currently enjoying a second life as a side table for the aforementioned fauxfa. Two-inch painters' tape made that inset really easy.

Another Episode of 'Things that Were Brass, and Now Aren't.'

That about sums it up. I spray-painted something else--in fact, another light fixture. This time it was a two-bulb brass lamp (of the "bankers'" variety, I think?), purloined from the Mr.'s parents' garage. (Apologies if, by letting us have it, you expected it to stay brass-colored...) A "before" picture:

It then got the same treatment as the chandelier. Well, not quite. Home Depot doesn't sell the same spray paints that Lowe's does, so I tried one of those supposedly "hammered metal" ones. (Sidebar: I like the result, but I probably wouldn't go for it again; it seemed like it took a LOT of paint to get an even finish, and I think I like the matte metallic finish of the Valspar Metallic stuff I used before a little better.) Anyway, I wiped it down, taped off the pull chains and the bulb sockets and went to town. During (my toe was an integral part of the process):

I don't know how I escaped before, but for some reason this particular spraying left me completely paint-flecked. Maybe it was windier. Again, I'd suggest wearing goggles to avoid the "OMG I FLECKED MY EYEBALL" thing. I topped it off with a new JONSBO shade from Ikea, and voila!

I should have taken a closer-up picture of the finish. It does look hammered-metal-y. I'll try to remember to update.

Paint Paint Paint! Paint. Paint Paint. Paint?

Wow, words look really funny when you repeat them a lot. Anyway, I've gone slightly paint crazy. It's a new dawn, really, from all the anxiety over picking the right blues (I was really trying to avoid an "I've got the blues" pun, there--I hope you appreciate that.) So what started it all? Imagine with me, if you will: the perfectly ambiguous shade. It feels cottage-y and informal, yet mature and elegant. Reads as a neutral when you want it to, and a color when you don't. Now, for the cherry on top: imagine you were able to find an entire GALLON of this color-of-all-colors, mixed with the most expensive semigloss base sold at Lowe's.... for FIVE DOLLARS. Yes, because someone else shunned it, I have a whole gallon of Valspar "Signature Colors" Semigloss in "Cliveden Gray," which is, I think, the perfect color. (Or maybe--just maybe--it's not 'Cliveden Gray,' which is, in reality, far from the perfect color; instead of following its orders the paint mixing machine WENT ROGUE, and in a fit of creativity never to be understood or fully appreciated by those around it created a masterpiece...) Okay, whatever. I really like it. I'm going to have to rein myself in a little bit, though, because in the last 48 hours I've painted an armoire and a coffee table and I already have plans for a nightstand and a side table. And I haven't even used half the can. Turns out semigloss is a nice finish for furniture, and I wasn't kidding--this is the most chameleonlike color I've ever seen. In a good way. Pictures aren't going to do it justice, but here are the first two victims of my glee:

*Some of you might recognize this as the former bearer of art supplies and serving dishes. He has found new purpose as a DVD-and-board-game peddler in the family room. And yes, I just personified an armoire.

This was a thrift store find--a $15 coffee table that had a yellowy "oak" finish on it. The sides were veneered but the top was solid, so the Mr. sanded it down (getting some mileage out of that rotary sander) and stained it with the stain he's using on the countertops (spoiler!). Then the rest got the miracle-gallon treatment. This picture stinks, but without the flash it was too blurry. So, come see them. You'll swear it's cream, then you'll look at it again, and you'll be darned if it isn't sage green. Really.